


The Talk

by Too_Much_Fandom



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Period-Typical Sexism, Protective Original Percival Graves, Threats of Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:27:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22455685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Too_Much_Fandom/pseuds/Too_Much_Fandom
Summary: In which Percival Graves gives Newt Scamander the old "I've got a shotgun and a shovel" talk.
Relationships: Tina Goldstein/Newt Scamander
Comments: 24
Kudos: 84





	The Talk

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on a little headcannon I shared in Tumblr last week: https://blahdiblahdiblah1987.tumblr.com/post/190391444433/so-imagine-some-time-after-they-get-very-serious
> 
> Decided to actually write it up! There is also a fic that I love, by quillandsaber called Vera's Girls that also has this Graves-as-overprotective-dad thing going on, and you should go read that too because it's awesome.
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy this little scene I dreamed up, and please let me know your thoughts below 😀

Curses and jinxes of all types flew everywhere. At this point, it was nearly impossible to tell friend from foe. Tina had lost sight of Graves and hoped someone else on the team still had him. She'd lost sight of Newt and Theseus too. She hoped they were alright, though there was nothing she could do. She had to focus on fighting her way out of here, and hope they were doing the same…

Somehow, she made it through. She'd been grazed in a few places, but that could wait. As she felt herself exit the wards of the prison, she immediately apparated to the safety of headquarters. 

It was pandemonium. Aurors and healers ran every which way. It was all Tina could do to scan the room, searching for those she cared about most. 

"Goldstein!" a familiar voice rang out. It was Tolliver. "Glad you're alright!" 

"Likewise," Tina nodded, "did Graves get out?" she asked nervously. After all, he was the whole reason they'd done this whole operation. 

"Yeah," Tolliver inclined his head, to a corner swarming with healers, "he's in rough shape, but we got him outta there, and healers are working on him right now. I think he'll pull through." He patted Tina reassuringly on the shoulder, then rushed to greet two more aurors who had just staggered in from the battle. 

With Graves being taken care of, Tina could safely look for Newt and Theseus…

"Hold still, Newt!" Theseus grimaced, trying to apply dittany to a bleeding gash on Newt's arm, "I can't patch you up properly with you bouncing around like a bloody niffler!"

"Tina…" was all Newt could say, as he squirmed in his seat, trying to scan the room for any sign of his fiancee, "where's Tina? I haven't seen her…"

"I'm sure she's fine," Theseus said, trying to sound calmer than he felt, "now, please, just hold still, you prat!" 

Newt sucked in his breath as Theseus poured a liberal helping of dittany on the gash, which immediately started knitting. And then…could it be? Was that-

"Tina!" he jumped up, nearly knocking his brother over as he sped off towards her, "Tina!" he called out again, wending his way through the crowd with eyes only for her. 

Theseus shook his head, smiling knowingly, before gathering up his supplies, and scanning the room for more aurors in need of a quick patch up. 

Tina looked up. She could hear her name being called, in the loving tone he reserved just for her. She immediately spun around, and found him, making his way toward her. She smiled widely in relief, seeing Newt, looking mostly whole, if a bit disheveled, running in her direction. She took off toward him, quickly closing the distance between them. 

Tina threw herself into Newt's arms, as he practically crushed her into his embrace. They gazed into each other's eyes for a split second before immediately mashing their lips together. It didn't matter that they were surrounded by dozens of colleagues. Right now, all that mattered was that they were both safe, and together again. 

"Thank Parcelsus you're alright, Tina," Newt sighed as they broke apart. He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, then tenderly stroked her cheek. 

"Thank Morrigan you're alright," Tina replied, running her fingers through his hopelessly messy fringe. "And your brother? He got out alright as well?" 

"Yes, he's fine too," Newt assured her. 

They brought their lips together again, this time kissing more softly, but no less passionately than they had been a minute ago. Tina clung to Newt's shoulders like she'd never let go, and Newt held her around the waist with one arm, while stroking her hair with his free hand. 

In all the chaos, nobody paid any heed to the reunited lovers. Nobody, that is, except for one Percival Graves. The pain was subsiding as the sedative charms began to take effect. Though a bit woozy, he fought to stay awake and glean what he could as healers bustled around him, shouting orders, and performing emergency healing spells on him. 

"He's stable!" one of the healers tending to him shouted, "we can now prepare him for transport!"

Graves saw the flash as a stretcher expanded beneath him, and felt the magical restraints gently securing themselves around him. He was about to close his eyes and let the team whisk him off to the hospital when, out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of something powerful enough to jolt him to full alertness. 

There was Tina Goldstein. She looked a bit different since he'd last seen her (two years since he'd disappeared, his rescuers had told him), but he'd know the girl he'd helped raise from anywhere. And there she was, his little girl, openly petting with some man that he, Percival Graves, did not know, and this was NOT OK. 

"Stop!" he called out as loudly as he could, "stop right now!" 

"Mr. Graves!" a healer bent down to listen to him, "No need to worry, you're safe now, and we're going to transport you any moment-" 

"No, no transport," he shook his head, breathing heavily in his agitation, "not yet…"

"But sir," a second healer chimed in, "you're stable now, but you need further treatment. At the hospital. We must-" 

"I said NO!" he growled, with surprising strength, given his weakened condition, "I do not consent to transport… Until I take care of…"

"Whatever you need to take care of, it can wait until you're safely in a hospital bed," the first healer insisted. 

"No! No it can't!" Graves shot back, and proceeded to fight against his restraints. The healers looked uncertainly at each other. The last thing they needed was their patient expending energy like that in his current state… 

"Alright, sir, what do you need?" the second healer asked resignedly, "I'll bring it over here. But make it quick."

Graves inclined his head toward the young couple, wrapped around each other like no one else existed and kissing so fiercely, it looked like they might swallow each other. 

"Them," he husked out, "them two, petting indecently over there," he glowered. 

The two healers smirked at each other, but agreed to accede to Graves' request. 

Newt and Tina were tightly clinging to each other, sliding their lips together as though drinking from an oasis in a desert, and completely unaware of their surroundings, when they registered a distant voice yelling out, "Hey, Goldstein! Goldstein!" 

They broke apart, looking around for whoever was calling Tina, and found two healers, standing next to Graves and his stretcher, waving her over. 

"Goldstein, get over here! Graves won't go until he talks to you!" one of them shouted. 

Tina rolled her eyes, as she had an idea of what Graves needed her for. "I'll be right back," she squeezed Newt's hand with a chuckle, then let go to walk over to Graves. 

"Loverboy too, he says!" the second healer shouted, startling Newt. He looked back at Graves and the healers, and gestured to himself as he mouthed, "Me?"

Graves himself was staring straight at him, but nodded as he weakly, yet unmistakably, beckoned him over. Newt shuffled after Tina, and settled right beside her as she stood by the stretcher. 

"Look at you, you need immediate medical attention!" Tina admonished him, "is this really necessary?" 

Graves weakly took her hand, all the while glowering fiercely at Newt, who withered under his gaze. 

"Tina," he spoke hoarsely, yet firmly, "you know I made a promise to your Pa when you were born…and then again when your sister was born…that if anything happened to him…"

"I'm a big girl now," Tina said firmly, "and you trained me well enough to look after myself. Which is what I've been doing these two years that you've been missing." 

Graves nodded proudly and patted Tina's hand, but he wasn't done. "Looks like you've done alright…you look well… Still, Tina, I promised your Pa. You know he'll find a way to hex me from the afterlife if I don't do my due diligence."

Tina rolled her eyes, but between Graves' weakened state, and being reminded of her father, she decided to indulge him. She looked over at Newt with an apologetic expression, before conceding, "do what you must, if you promise to let us take you to the hospital as soon as you're done. And please, let's not be over dramatic…"

Graves nodded, and then beckoned Newt closer. Newt hesitantly bent down, and before he knew what was happening, Graves was grasping him by the collar with a surprising amount of strength for someone in his state, and growling menacingly in his ear. 

"Listen up, pal," Graves snarled, "you may think you've avoided this talk 'cause Tina don't got her Pa to look out for her, and maybe she didn't tell you that she's my responsibility now. I may have been, well, indisposed for awhile, but now that I'm back, I'm gonna do my duty to Tina. So, I'm gonna ask the questions, and you're gonna answer me, truthfully, because I'll know if you're lying, ya hear?!"

Newt, more shocked than afraid at what was happening right now, simply nodded. 

"Well, let's start with your name," Graves smiled coldly. 

"Newt Scamander."

"Scamander?" Graves' eyebrows shot up in surprise, "related to Thes-" 

"Yes," Newt quickly cut in, "he's my older brother." 

Graves nodded, and slackened his grip for a moment, before tightening it again. "That's something, but I'm not done with you. I'm just getting started, Mister Scamander. How old are you?" 

"31."

"What's your profession?" 

"Magizoologist."

"Magi-what now?!" Graves blurted out, not having heard of such a thing, "you trying to be wise with me?" 

"N-n-no," Newt stammered, "I-I study magical creatures. I even published a book on them last year."

"What, like an extermination guide?" 

Tina snorted in amusement, then immediately coughed to disguise it. She didn't want to make it worse for Newt. 

"No, a book to help people understand why we should be protecting these creatures instead of killing them," Newt explained defensively, just as he had to Tina when she'd asked the same question nearly two years ago. 

"It's a bestseller," Tina chimed in proudly, trying to be helpful, "and he has a second edition coming out soon."

Graves shook his head skeptically, then turned back to Newt to continue his interrogation. 

"So, how did an odd Brit like you come to meet a sweet American doll like Tina?" 

Newt and Tina exchanged a meaningful glance. They knew Graves wasn't going to be terribly thrilled with the truth, but would they be able to gloss over it? 

"I was on a trip to New York in December of '26, and that's how we met. It was quite funny, actually-" Newt cut himself off when he saw Tina glaring at him. 

"We, um, we ended up on a-a case together," Tina explained, while Graves continued to look at the two of them skeptically, "in fact, it was Newt here who was the one to figure out you were missing…"

Graves certainly couldn't be mad at that. "Well, that's much appreciated," he said thoughtfully, letting go of Newt. Newt smiled shyly and exhaled in relief. 

Suddenly, Graves grabbed him by the collar again, even more forcefully, "I ain't done with you, Mister! How long you been seeing Tina, and how'd that come about?" 

"A b-bit over a-over a year now," Newt stammered nervously, "September of '27, after, um…"

"After Queenie ran away," Tina finished quietly. 

"Queenie? Ran away? Sweet Morrigan, what happened?" Graves let go of Newt again in his shock. 

"It's a long story, and I think we best go over it once you've been properly attended to," Tina explained, "she's alive, that much I can tell you. But she ain't--she ain't-" Tina's eyes welled up from thinking of her sister's betrayal, "she ain't the same girl you remember. Now, are we done? You ready to go to the hospital?"

"Oh no," Graves huffed, before grabbing Newt yet again, "I ain't entirely satisfied with your…your fella yet."

He directed the conversation back to Newt. "That was some mighty heavy petting you two were doing back there," he growled possessively, "heavy petting with MY little girl-" 

"I'm hardly a little girl anymore, and I don't need-" Tina rolled her eyes in annoyance. 

"Stay out of this, this is man to man right now," Graves snapped, before returning to Newt as Tina rolled her eyes again and crossed her arms. 

"A lot of fellas like their petting, and that leads to other things, as I'm sure you know," Graves continued, staring daggers at Newt and gripping his collar tight enough to strangle, "and then, after the guy's had his fun, he moves on to the next bit of fun, leaving the doll to pick up the pieces…"

"I would never!" Newt exclaimed hotly, "I love her!" 

"Yeah, that's what they all say," Graves spat bitterly, "now, you're gonna tell me, right now, pal, what your intentions are towards my little girl here!" 

"To marry her!" Newt said, exasperated that it had taken this long to get around to this part of the conversation, "I proposed last month! We're getting married before the year is done!" 

Graves let go again, and Newt rubbed his neck where his collar had bit into it. Graves looked at Tina questioning, and she nodded. 

"It's true," she smiled, taking Newt's hand in hers, as he wrapped his arm around her waist, "we're getting married next month. On the anniversary of the day we met."

They both looked at Graves hopefully, waiting for him to back down and congratulate them. But he wasn't done yet. 

"Hold everything though," he looked back and forth between the beaming couple, "if Tina's Pa is dead, and I was missing, who gave you permission to ask for Tina's hand, Mr. Scamander?" 

"I, well, um, I…" Newt sputtered, trying to come up with an answer that wouldn't further agitate Graves. 

"It's 1928, Graves," Tina snapped, coming to Newt's rescue, "he don't need anybody's permission but mine! Which he has!" 

Graves sighed resignedly. His little girl had really grown up, especially since his absence. And he had to admit, Theseus Scamander's brother seemed sincere, and clearly cared very much for Tina. But there was still one more thing he had to say, before allowing the healers to take him to the hospital. 

He beckoned Newt once more with his finger, and Newt leaned down to hear him. Graves didn't grab his collar this time, thankfully, but his eyes blazed indignantly, as he growled his final warning in Newt's ear. 

"My congratulations on your impending nuptials. That's a good start, making an honest woman of her. But I'm still gonna leave you with this: I'll be watching you," he said menacingly, "if you don't treat my little girl right, I'm gonna know, and you're gonna pay. You EVER raise a hand to her, or bring her into bed when she ain't willing, or two-time her and break her heart, you're a dead man, Mr. Scamander. Dead. But not before I rip your balls off with my bare hands, and keep 'em in a jar in my office, you hear? You understand?" 

Tina bit her lip to keep herself from bursting out laughing. Newt didn't bother to argue that it would never occur to him to do any of the terrible things Graves had just listed. 

"Yes, sir," he said quietly, before stepping back and sliding his arm around Tina's waist again, "I've nothing more to say than that I love her, more than anything. I hope you come to believe me about that, soon."

"Satisfied now?" Tina pouted, "can we take you to the hospital now?" 

Graves nodded. "Just promise me one thing," he said, "I'm satisfied enough for now, but I ain't done yet. Promise me, you'll come to me the moment they allow me visitors. Understood?" 

"Yes, sir," Newt and Tina mumbled together. 

With one last nod to them, Graves turned back toward the healers and gave his consent for them to transport him to the hospital. 

"I'm sorry," Tina squeezed Newt's hand as Graves and his attending healers disappeared, "I meant to warn you, but I really expected him to at least wait till he was in a hospital bed…"

Newt cut her off with a kiss. "No worries, love," he assured her, "he was doing what he felt he had to do."

"That's the real Percival Graves for ya," Tina shrugged apologetically, "a man of honor, duty, and loyalty, who'll never do a half-assed job of anything."

"I can respect that," Newt agreed, "and honestly, I understand. I suspect I'll do the same one day, if we have any daughters…"

"Oh, absolutely not!" Tina replied hotly, "you better not!" 

"I'm joking, I'm joking," Newt chuckled. With Tina mollified, they shared another kiss. 

And Newt was joking. Sort of.

**Author's Note:**

> I absolutely love the idea of the real Graves giving Newt the shotgun and shovel talk, so this was very fun to dream up and write. Hope you liked it!


End file.
